Frenzy.

I've cried a million rivers,
And named them all for you,
You've made the tear drops bigger,
With every word you spewed.

Your mouth that lunged in lies,
Your eyes that veiled the truth,
Your face so curt precise,
Your heart stone cold blue.

I've sinned more than Satan himself, I've created a crater for me knowing too damn well how deep I had dug it for me.I've made too many mistakes to make any rights, told too many lies to take any back, hurt too many innocent people to beg for any forgiveness and disappointed a million other who mean so much to me. It is a habit, and he is right, I don't deserve any happiness, any compassion, any empathy whatsoever. I am so evil,I should rot in hell. I made him cry more than he had all his life through and he has no one but me to blame for it. I sunk his morale so low, he had to reach out from the back of the coffin to find it again. He has found love in the eyes of someone else and she will keep him happier than I could ever because I don't deserve him. She will be his Princess and make him feel so special that he will get over all the pain he had ever felt with me. Sadly enough, I know who she is and she is so dear to me too. I can't live like this.My world has crashed and burnt in front of my eyes and I have no one but me to blame for it. I have ruined something so special that to awaken it from its death sleep I need to die. And if that is what it takes, so be it. I don't want to live this in any case. It's too painful. It's hurting him to see me alive it's hurting me to breathe with the guilt and shame of all of it. It is killing him to pretend to laugh and smile with me, it is killing me to see him having to pretend. How do I make it all go away? Maybe I should go away. I am the girl of his nightmares who made it seem so perfect once upon a time. He gave up everything he ever loved for me and I just threw everything back at his face without caring for anyone or anything but me. He wants to see my blood rum down the gutters and sooner or later you will. I will lie in front of you and die in your memories.