I want to run, run far, run fast.
I want to run so fast that not even my shadow could follow. I want to flee. This is too much pain, too unjust for me to face.
I don't have the strength to fight or justify. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore. Every turn seems to be paved with thorns. Even the inviting doors lead to destruction and destitution. Where does one go when they feel like this?

I want to hide. Hide under my black blanket and never peek through. I want to hide, cover myself head to toe and not leave an inch uncovered or unprotected. I want to hide under this lair of eternity.

I want to hold my head in my hands and cry my eyes out. i don't want the tears to stop flowing till all my anguish and pain is washed away... I want my emotions to flood the emptiness I call life.

Every breath is traded for, every thing I do seems to be a part of a scripted play. Every word I say is part of a pre-written dialog. No credibility. No respect. No faith.
Just hollow... shallow, forsaken, estranged and eventually forgotten.

And then, you'd wave your hand over my face, wipe that dried tear stain, say you care and I melt in your arms, cry hysterically for a few minutes, you'd look me in the eye, say you love me, I'd cry some more, and finally fall back into your trance. You smile... is that an evil grin, or a smile that I once knew, it's hard to tell... I give up. Take me, eat me, chew me to pieces, swallow me, spit me out... I'm yours for the taking.

I'll take whatever comes my way because this is what I created. A monster, perhaps, but mine, nevertheless. Love. Hate and everything in between.

R.I.P.