Fool's Paradise.

>When it became from a dream to a nightmare is still unclear...but I know now, that I honestly am afraid to close my eyes,lest I fall asleep and have the same nightmare again.

>When it transitioned into this cloud of smoke from my bubble of hope, I don't know. But it has, and so I avoid any nimbus to hover upon me.

It's like this invisible lair of memories which are crystal clear to me but oh so blurry to him. Is it just my imagination or did they really happen...?

Maybe today is my imagination, maybe everything over the last 3 months never happened. Maybe I'm still sleeping and God, I hope I wake up soon. I know I'm probably fidgeting in bed, throwing myself around the place but somehow, I cannot wake up. You've shut my eyes forever. You sealed them tight and I enjoyed for the moment knowing it made you happy but right now I don't know if that is enough anymore. I don't know what is enough anymore.

You're oblivious, indecisive. I'm just a fool.
Knowing that there is no hope, no future and it's only a matter of time till you disappear... knowing the horror in advance...
I still hope.

Fool's paradise, indeed.

There is no credibility of anything anymore. It's just a farce for you and a morsel of rejoice from time to time for me.

You've changed. I've changed. Everything in between is become a stage show. The easier it becomes for you, the more real it gets for me. The more you detach yourself, the more I seem to sink at my knees. It's like we're tripping on two different drugs. But we both are experiencing a trip, nevertheless.

Fool's paradise.

I like it. I'm comfortable in it. Even if it is to be my end soon.

I'm just running in circled, chasing the sun. Helpless.