Speaking to me

When things go wrong, everything seems wrong. And when the little ray of hope shines, all the misery seems so worth it. And yet, we seem to overlook what is the essence of that hope, misery or sorrow. In our own pursuit of happiness we forget what we must truly be grateful to. Everyone has those bad phases in life. when nothing seems to strike a chord with what you really want. In fact, you become so detached that you let yourself go. One hundred percent. It's emancipation- the soul from it's body. You connect. And that's when you know you've seen it all and you could die right then and have no regrets.

Being 18, you wouldn't think such an opportunity would come knocking at my door. It is that time of life when you think you own the world and you strut your stuff like you don't give a damn. Loud music blares in your head and you dance to its tunes like the pied piper's mice. Amusing. Nothing can satisfy or hold your attention for more than 2 days and if it does, then well there you have it- Naysa, miracle of god. The world seems like a spinning wheel of fortune right now. To me atleast. Every spin can change my life and in some bizarre way I'm enthralled by the idea. I'm not a rebel but I don't like convention. I'm not gothic but I don't like the butterflies and the spring. I'm not angry, but I don't like to smile a trillion watts. I'm not a realist, but I don't like imagining my life through. So where does that leave me? In this dark alley that extends beyond life, truth, love, fantasy, existence.Oh, and such are the thoughts that infiltrate my mind all year long. A hard outer covering protects me from the permeating hypocrisy that has taken over the best of us. But inside, it's a whirlpool of delusion, indecisive derivations and mind boggling questions. So who is in a hurry to answer all my questions? I don't think I'd answer all of them ever. The truth about life and death, of love and hate, of right and wrong and all the roads less traveled.